i quit this wedding.
i quit planning it. i quit thinking about it. i quit talking about it. obviously, i can barely keep up posting about it. this wedding sucks.
and i blame myself. i blame myself for creating our site and telling people that we are engaged. i blame myself for blabbing and venting about this process on facebook, so… i left facebook. that felt good.
i just want to be left alone. i don’t want to hear about this wedding again. i don’t want to think about this wedding anymore. why couldn’t we just have eloped? i just want to run away…
Confession: My mom is crazy. She’s also extremely sweet, but she’s crazy. Now that I’ve put that out there, I feel a little better. I also feel like I’ve betrayed her because she has not admitted this to herself or anyone else that she is, in fact, crazy. Perhaps because it is only an episodic insanity, usually ignited by a major event in my life. She went a little crazy during piano recitals, proms, birthdays, graduations, and guess what’s up next? … My wedding. And is she waiting for the date to unleash her particularly potent bag of crazy? No. Why wait when you can board the crazy train today. Tickets are free!
I need pictures. I need professional pictures. I need them for me. I’m in the beginning phases of launching my jewelry business and revamping my LinkedIn profile, and I haven’t had a good picture taken of myself since high school graduation! It just so happens that Mr is really into save the dates/invites with our picture on them. In theory, it shouldn’t be too difficult to coordinate ONE shoot to suit both purposes. It just has to get done… It will get done.
Happy New Year!
I’m not that big on resolutions, but a challenge for myself this year is to speak less about what I’m going/want to do and more about how I did it. Re-reading my last post, I seemed so sure that I’d be married in a church early next year. Now? Not so much.
Mr and I did look at a few places and put inquiries out, but it’s not working out that way. We’re going another way… with a new time line. At this point, we just want to be married. The wedding is becoming an absurd and oddly inconvenient hurdle to the finish line.
But wait! Last year ended on quite a high note… Continue reading
We have a wedding website. Go us! We also have a wedding-planning/communicating email address, and I’ve requested email addresses from friends and family so that Mr and I can start 2014 communicating about our wedding with those who want to/will witness it.
Yesterday was obviously a rather productive day!
My hope is that April 2014 will be another month of hyper-activity. It’s the month I plan on trying on dresses. It’s the month I hope to send out announcements/save the dates. It’s the month I hope to secure a venue too. Some brides are all about the ring. Others all about the dress. It appears that I’m a location, location, location bride.
First of all, you need to know that this song is still bringin’ ’em to the dance floors in the club!
Agree to disagree if you’d like to. The bottom line is that I haven’t posted in over a month! Ooo wee! Sorry. I’m back. DANGER! (lol) So what’s been happening? Stuff! Continue reading
I don’t want to tell Mr’s stories on this blog. Mr is a very private person. I asked his permission to start this blog, to be honest about my feelings on it, knowing that our lives intersect and intertwine. I am grateful to have the space to express myself, but I know that my “self” is connected to someone else. Where am I going?
Mr’s paternal grandfather transitioned from this earth on Monday, October 21, 2013. He was 92 years old. It hit Mr hard. He was with me the night before he found out, and he said he had been dreaming about his grandfather, specifically that his grandfather died. He said he dreamed the same dreams the night before that as well. He didn’t find out about his grandfather’s passing in the most delicate way either. I’m not sure the weight of the loss will be fully felt until the funeral, which will be held in Haiti on November 15. Mr’s grandfather was a high-ranking (if not the highest-ranking) clergy for the Church of God in Christ in Haiti. The church is handling most of the funeral arrangements, and the service will be attended by many, many people. (The last I heard of the count was 3,000.) That can’t be easy for the family. It wouldn’t be easy for me. The passing of the loved one is personal. Mr is holding up. He’ll go to Haiti for the funeral, and I think that’s very important.
In addition to his children and grandchildren, Mr’s grandfather is survived by his wife. They would have been married for 65 years on December 21 of this year.
It is still a riddle to me that a few months ago I was reluctant to tell people I was engaged, and now I can’t stop telling people that I’m getting married. HA! I crack myself up.
Well, I’m in a wedding-dreaming frenzy. (Note: The denial continues and has evolved into a denial of wedding-planning. More on that later. For now, I’ll just revel in the blissful dreaming that’s happening.)
I spoke with a travel agent yesterday because I want to invite guests to join us on honeymoon. I know. It sounds crazy, but that’s going to be the most fun! I just wish I could share everything all at once, but alas… Two things got me excited about wedding-dreaming: 1) attending the wedding of my friends Kieran and Lydia; and 2) talking to Mr about our honeymoon, which may be our first real passport-using vacation together.
Let’s talk about Kieran and Lydia’s wedding: Continue reading
So much for posting every week.
While I dodged blogging, something changed. I do not know what it is. I do not know how to describe what happened. Things got worse in the way things get when they have yet to fall into place, so they may get better but in the moment exist in the realm of the unknown and the uncomfortable. And by “things” I mean life. And by life I am excluding my relationship with Mr. Our relationship has never been better, more secure, more firm, more aligned, more sure.
So we, the couple – a miser and her Mister – hold this truth to be self-evident: WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!… soon! Well, not like, next week or even next year, but we are full-speed ahead. There’s even a date!
Wedding cancelled, Homeless fed
I can only hope that if for some reason my wedding were planned, paid for and cancelled, my family and I would remove ourselves from our own loss to see the needs around us like the Fowlers in Atlanta. WOW.
Click the title of this post or click here to read this amazing story!