More face time

Mr and I have been truly blessed this month.  We’ve seen each other almost every week!  Starting with a Labor Day beach weekend with friends and soon to be ending with the matrimonial union of two people we both love and care for very much, September 2013 is shaping up to be the month of more face time, and I’m so grateful for it.

Look! A picture to prove it…

IMG_20130922_104710(1) Continue reading

Church Ladies

Women are fascinating and frustrating creatures.  I’ve spent most of my life knowing I’d grow into one if I didn’t die, but not necessarily looking forward to becoming one.  As a young girl, I recognized that the women around me were strong, faithful, funny, talented and smart.  They were also gossipy, prone to complaint and discontent, and wore as badges of honor all the “hard work” they did which far too often went unsolicited and consequently unappreciated.  Women.  churchlady-carveyOf all groups of women with which I have the most complicated relationship are church women – living through earthly sufferation to the promise of heaven through salvation.

No woman I’ve known in particular should take offense, though I can see how I’ve described both a servant of the Lord and a soldier for satan; both victor and victim, but I mean… hey.  That’s what it looks like to an extent sometimes.  OK.  The point is women are complicated (and that church is a unique space and place), and even for me – a woman (who goes to church) – I struggle with, resist and acknowledge the intricacies of my being especially when all I want is a simple life. Continue reading

Fools rush in

Wise men say, “Only fools rush in.”
But I can’t help
Falling in love with you…

#classic

Whoa! I never noticed that this hit UB40 tune is from an album entitled “Promises and Lies.”  How fitting for a conversation about love, not real love, but the sappy, sick, perverted (yet, well-intended) love that so many people are searching for and paying tens of thousands of dollars to celebrate on wedding days. That love is a bunch of promises and lies, is it not?  Real love, though, is God.  It’s selfless, sacrificial, unconditional and everlasting.  I wouldn’t trust Merriam or Webster on this one.  I’d go somewhere holier – something more true:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Argue with the Bible if you want to.  I’m not.

I recently had the occasion to tell a person who loves me very much how much I love Mr.  This came after explaining why I did not feel I was ready to marry Mr and a review of the evidence for why Mr is not ready to marry me.  It could be that holding on to my dream of living and working abroad is characteristic of my reluctance to “grow up” (i.e. become someone’s wife, have babies, and keep house). Could be.  It could look like Mr is a sub-par mate with lots of baggage and problems that are simply unfair to unload into someone else’s life.  This is a valid point as well.  None of these things; however, takes away from the fact that we want to be with each other as husband and wife.  In fact, despite who we are and the hangups we bring to the table, we want to work through them.  We know exactly who the other person is as much as we know who we are, and in spite of what we see, we still choose to build something better – together.  But we don’t want to be foolish about it.  Haste makes waste.

I read this great blog post today.   I’ll share it in its entirety because it was an awesome piece of personal, reflective writing, and it is written by a married, Hasidic Jew, who is a man.  On the surface, if he and I were walking down the street together, we would probably look like polar opposites, but on the topic of love – real love – we could not be more similar.  Enjoy… Continue reading

It Could Have Been Me

There are really great posts on Offbeat Bride, and I’m glad I subscribe to the posts.  Most of them are the best wedding-related reading I’ve encountered.  A recent one caught my eye today.  And with the title “What I learned from cancelling my wedding” who wouldn’t be intrigued?  Here’s an excerpt:

I started having doubts about the wedding (not the relationship… the WEDDING) early on, but I knew I wanted to marry my fiance so I didn’t say much other than “Do you like this venue?,” “Would you rather have German chocolate or pumpkin spice cake?,” etc. I thought I was doing him a favor by keeping my mouth shut when it came to my apprehensions. It turns out that, as the planning process carried on, we became more and more distant.

Wow.  That could be my story.  Like, that could be a post in this blog because it happened to me. Continue reading